Listen: Listening is one of the sweetest gifts we can give someone. Fully receiving someone’s truth, without argument, without discussion, creates a foundation of trust and regard in any relationship. Tell the truth and say the “hard stuff”: If you think you can’t say it, then you must say it. True love requires truth-speaking. Make…
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When our friends and families hear about our cancer, often they try to say something to be “helpful” or “supportive”. And all too often, in their discomfort, what gets spoken is neither helpful nor supportive. You know the kinds of advice and comments I’m talking about: …I heard about a woman who… …You just need…
One role of every life-partner is to create a caring, respectful relationship with our partner (and all whom we love), encouraging lovers and family to see you as a strong support in their experience, and encouraging them to grow and develop as separate and unique individuals. Helping Attitude There are many ways to show our…
As a personal growth coach and couple intimacy coach, and a facilitator of various love & intimacy workshops, I often meet people who tell me they are in a relationship, or are looking to find someone to start a relationship, or are ending a relationship, or have decided that relationships are just not for them. …
Perhaps the most common source of anger is our own inability to love ourselves, our self-hate. Most of us have a deep self-hatred that we created in childhood. We use much of our adult energy trying to run from or hide from or cover over these feeling of low self-esteem or low self-worth. The source…
Anger may unavoidable, but how can I make it less devastating? How can I cope with my anger? How can I cope with your anger? How can I cope with your anger when you direct it at me? Coping with anger is simple…but not necessarily easy. Like most things, it takes trust, some practice, and some learning. And, the better you get…
Everyone experiences anger at one time or another. It’s not just human, it’s mammal — if you own a pet dog or cat or horse you’ve likely seen your pet get angry (at you or at another animal or, perhaps, at a visit to the vet). Even though anger is a natural, normal emotional experience,…
I can’t solve my partner’s problems. Even if I’m sure I know what they should do. And my partner can’t solve my problems, no matter how much I wish they could. Can you notice the ways you try to get your partner to “fix” you? Are you aware of the times your partner is making…
As a Couples Intimacy Coach, I have met and worked with hundreds of couples struggling with unsatisfactory sex lives, many in their fifties and sixties. As young, sexually active adults, we take for granted that feelings of arousal will be accompanied by tumescence (the swelling of genital tissues), erections (nipples, clitoris, penis) and lubrication. In…
From Rosalind Wiseman’s “Queen Bees and Wannabes” 1. Apologizer must have a genuine understanding of the “crime.” 2. Talk about the apologizer’s actions only. 3. No “last licks” or burying another insult within the apology. 4. Given without qualification (“I wouldn’t have done it if you had just…”) 5. Apologizer and apology must be genuine.…
Intimacy, Relationship, Life Counseling 