- Listen: Listening is one of the sweetest gifts we can give someone. Fully receiving someone’s truth, without argument, without discussion, creates a foundation of trust and regard in any relationship.
- Tell the truth and say the “hard stuff”: If you think you can’t say it, then you must say it. True love requires truth-speaking.
- Make time: To maintain a relationship one must make time to relate.
- Choose being in love over being right: No one wins an argument. Even if you “prove” you are in the right, it does nothing to “prove” you are in love. The only reason you are arguing is because somewhere in the twists and turns of your psyche you think being right will feel good. You could just skip the argument and go to “I love you”. It’s a much faster and more direct path to feeling good.
- Focus on what is good: What you focus on is what you see. Focus your attention on all the love around you and you will see all the love around you. (Simple, but not always easy.)
- Work on increasing passion: Try new things in bed, go to a tantra workshop, tell each other a secret fantasy. Passion is like a garden, it needs to be tended or soon all you’ve got is weeds.
- Choose love. When you notice you are choosing fear or shame or hurt, tell yourself “I love you”. Then tell your beloved “I love you”.