Esther Perel: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic (Podcast)

“Is there something inherent in commitment that deadens desire? Can we ever maintain security without succumbing to monotony? The real questions are these: Can we have both love and desire in the same relationship over time? How? What exactly would that kind of relationship be?”


“What is it about sexual betrayal that seems to hit us in a spot that is beyond all others? I think part of it is because it really touches the fantasy of oneness that we have,the fantasy of intimate coupling that we have today. Now, I’m not the person who is going to tell people to be or not to be monogamous, and for that matter nobody needs Perel to cheat, you know, they do it on their own. But I wanted to have a possibility of having a critical thoughtful conversation on the subject of infidelity and of monogamy and of the fact that contrary to what we often think, infidelity is not always the symptom of a problematic relationship. People stray for a multitude of reasons. And that what’s most important is to understand the nature of the infidelity. And more importantly,  people sometimes stray while they love their partner dearly and while they are actually quite content in their relationship. Sometimes there’s something that suddenly struck them that they didn’t even know existed. You know, it’s not always that they were looking for something, sometimes it’s just the fact that they didn’t resist an occurrence of life…I must say that sometimes I see certain infidelities stabilize the relationship.” – Esther Perel

Esther Perel: Sex, Love & Intimacy Podcast

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